The Critique, by Tessa.

Tessa Checks out Mom's Latest Scribblings -  2013 © Colehaus Cats

Tessa Checks out Mom’s Latest Scribblings – 2013 © Colehaus Cats

Mom’s always scribbling in notebooks. Scribble, scribble…what could be so interesting that she has to do it all the time? She’s got entire shelves filled with her scribblings and scribblings from many other humans too. Today, I thought it high-time I checked out her words for myself.

Fiction? An Adventure? A Mystery? -  2013 © Colehaus Cats

Fiction? An Adventure? A Mystery? – 2013 © Colehaus Cats

Hmm, words…words…words…can’t make sense of this structure. POV is completely whack. Didn’t seem to pay attention in basic third grade English class…

Needs Some Spice -  2013 © Colehaus Cats

Needs Some Spice – 2013 © Colehaus Cats

Needs something…oh, that’s it. A plot! And a theme! And some action, snarky dialog, more action, all working on carrying along the reader and building toward…

The Prose is a Bit Flat -  2013 © Colehaus Cats

The Prose is a Bit Flat – 2013 © Colehaus Cats

…something definitely not flat. Too passive, Mom. Your characters are cardboard. Nothing they do rings true. Move them, I say! Make them do something, anything! Throw in some wolves. I bet I could take on wolves.

And No Danger? I Weep for Your Readers! -  2013 © Colehaus Cats

And No Danger? I Weep for Your Readers! – 2013 © Colehaus Cats

What?!? These are tax notes? That’s what I, Tessa, a.k.a. Danger Cat, have wasted my time on? No witty dialog? No action? NO DANGER? Not even a little? Say it ain’t so!

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23 Responses to The Critique, by Tessa.

  1. Mawwahhaaaaaw.. Boring old stuff den… I’d go have a nap after all the snooping..:) xxooxx

    Mollie and Alfie

  2. Cory says:

    Tax notes???? Nothing about cheese….socks??? What’s the point?

  3. every body is a critic! 🙂

  4. Bernadette says:

    Tessa, our human has a house full of stuff that we aren’t even supposed to touch and it’s a total waste of time. We’ve tasted most of it and it all tastes like cardboard, or something related. She wastes all this time when she could be napping with us and petting us and feeding us. Humans can be such a disappointment. ~Mimi and the Fantastic Four

  5. Humans spend so much time scribbling things on paper. They should be putting out treats for us!

  6. Tax notes = Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!! Happy napping! Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

  7. Our human makes lots of lists too but we don’t know why as she usually forgets where she’s put them. The most important writing she does is what cat food and treats we want when she goes shopping.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

  8. Sparkle says:

    Tessa, you are a harsh editor!

  9. Brian says:

    What a taxing turn of events! Oh well, there is always next time!

  10. MOL , you are one harsh literary critic!!

  11. Whisppy says:

    MOL. Tax papers. We feel your pain!

  12. You should read the title first before you poke your head into it, hahaha.

  13. Mommy says taxes are FRAUGHT with danger!

  14. TAXES? Horrors…my mom does NOT like doing those at ALL.

  15. Marg says:

    Tessa, glad to get your opinion on all those writings. Tax papers are the worst. We were hoping for a good book. Have a great day.

  16. da tabbies o trout towne says:

    tessa…if its danger ewe iz lookin for…N thoze bee tax docue mints….
    N yur nails knead a good sharpenin….

    start shreddin 🙂

    then dial 1 800 call de eye R ess !!

    Haza awesum seachtain OH deireadh anda happee Lá Fhéile Pádraig
    Ore:
    haza awesum week oh end anda happee st patricks day

  17. You are a tough critic.

  18. Mom says trust her Miss Tessa, taxes are verrrrrrry dangerous things!
    Harry, Dexter and Tipp

  19. She’d rather write cat related stories! I’m sure she’d rather 😉
    Purrs

  20. Tessa–that last face says it ALL. Tax stuff?? oh my!! However, you did a wonderful job to see what was actually going on….TAX STUFF? Hmm. I think you need treats for your discovery..

    Noir

  21. Penelope says:

    Tee! Hee! Me MOVES to muss up Mommy’s papers! They is so much fun to roll on!
    Kisses
    Nellie

  22. Allie: Tessa! *squee* My sister from another mother! *poses next to T*
    I totally see the resemblance. Girlfriend, any time you want a mani/pedi you just let me know and I’ll hook you up with my Spa *ahem* mom.

    Oh, and I completely agree. Books should have character development at the very least.

  23. meowmeowmans says:

    Oh yeah, Tessa. Tax notes are dry dry dry! Thank Cod it wasn’t a story by your Mom. 🙂

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